Mattering to Myself

This is not an entry I intend on actually posting for a while. It is a sensative subject  for me.

Self hate. That’s right. I hate myself. I find myself entirely unacceptable. I belong to one of the most hated groups of people on the planet, and not by choice. I am required to rely on other people in order to survive. This country is sinking back into the mentality of the 1960s and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

I should probably stop looking at news stories or watching news on TV. Politicians are out to get us. Their obvious hatred for all people who are not the elitist rich is impacting everyone around me. Cuts to the safety net in these times of gross income inequality are unacceptable. All I am asking for is a fighting chance. I see that chance slipping away more and more each day.

I am becoming more and more aware that my life does not matter. I see people driving cars that are worth more than I am. If you drive a Mercedes, a BMW, a Jaguar, a Cadillac, a Porche, a Bentley or any other elitist vehicle, chances are I have contempt for you. I cannot afford to drive a car. I cannot pay the cost of fuel, insurance, or upkeep. I have to settle for using public transportation, which in itself is too expensive. I get no enjoyment out of life, because fun costs money. I hear people talk about going on cruises or any kind of vacation and I cringe. I cannot even consider such things as it is not in my budget. It is simply to expensive to stay alive anymore.

The people out there who do care about what is happening have been vilified by the powerful people who make decisions for this nation. I have become all too aware that the voice of the people no longer matter. The government has been bought by billionaires who only care about other people who have excessive amounts of money. The majority of the people who live in the real world are not blessed with copious funds. This means they don’t matter in the larger picture of things. I have a feeling we need to take a page from French history and organize and enact retribution on the wealthy. The French beheaded the rich leaders of their country during their revolution. I’m ready to grab a torch and a pitchfork.

 

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~ by blueeyedcubtn on March 28, 2015.

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